This is Bliss!!!

I don't know if I have ever been as happy as I was last night...and today! I spent yesterday canvasing in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania to help crucial voters get their votes out! Unlike the canvasing trip I took 4 years ago for the last election, this one was incredibly well organized and we had a terrific day. More importantly we weren't just supporting the "Not Bush" Vote, we were there to support an incredible candidate who is what this country NEEDS right now as well as not being Bush! Luckily there were only a few nasties on our journey. Mainly everyone was AWESOME! It felt SO incredible to connect, face-to-face with people who believe in unity, progress, and possibility. People who push aside their fears in order to embrace change. After canvasing as many homes as we could we got out our cellphones and made calls to those who weren't able to be reached earlier in the day. The campaign workers for that neighborhood were excellent and so accommodating! We finished our time in PA in Obama's Headquarters in Bethlehem. It was so exciting to be in a real campaign office on election night! Everyone crowded around the television, though it would be a few hours before we would learn anything on it. Then it was back on the buses back to NYC. Updates were shared via blackberry and internet on phones and cheers filled the bus. Then we all congregated at The Irish Rogue in midtown to watch the results. I doubt there was any bar in NYC last night that was not electric. In my lifetime I have never been inspired at all nor moved to tears by any political speech, but even McCain's speech was incredible! I really respect him for uniting people with his words. I can only hope they were as inspiring to his own supporters who were not so ecstatic in that moment. But the best moments of last night were in the middle of Times Square...as we joined the rest of the joyful crowds in screams of glory, relief, and general exultation. I could NOT leave this area!! I hugged anyone who would let me...I gave high fives to anyone sticking hands out of their cars as they beeped through the crowded intersection. I took in every smile on every face...I danced with people in the middle of the street. I knew I should head home, but could not tear myself away! I must have been there for 45 minutes or an hour...just eating up this historic moment in every way imaginable. It was bliss! And so worth losing a bit of my voice over. Hallelujah!!!

This is bliss!

I don't know if I have ever been as happy as I was last night...and today! I spent yesterday canvasing in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania to help crucial voters get their votes out! Unlike the canvasing trip I took 4 years ago for the last election, this one was incredibly well organized and we had a terrific day. More importantly we weren't just supporting the "Not Bush" Vote, we were there to support an incredible candidate who is what this country NEEDS right now as well as not being Bush! Luckily there were only a few nasties on our journey. Mainly everyone was AWESOME! It felt SO incredible to connect, face-to-face with people who believe in unity, progress, and possibility. People who push aside their fears in order to embrace change. After canvasing as many homes as we could we got out our cellphones and made calls to those who weren't able to be reached earlier in the day. The campaign workers for that neighborhood were excellent and so accommodating! We finished our time in PA in Obama's Headquarters in Bethlehem. It was so exciting to be in a real campaign office on election night! Everyone crowded around the television, though it would be a few hours before we would learn anything on it. Then it was back on the buses back to NYC. Updates were shared via blackberry and internet on phones and cheers filled the bus. Then we all congregated at The Irish Rogue in midtown to watch the results. I doubt there was any bar in NYC last night that was not electric. In my lifetime I have never been inspired at all nor moved to tears by any political speech, but even McCain's speech was incredible! I really respect him for uniting people with his words. I can only hope they were as inspiring to his own supporters who were not so ecstatic in that moment. But the best moments of last night were in the middle of Times Square...as we joined the rest of the joyful crowds in screams of glory, relief, and general exultation. I could NOT leave this area!! I hugged anyone who would let me...I gave high fives to anyone sticking hands out of their cars as they beeped through the crowded intersection. I took in every smile on every face...I danced with people in the middle of the street. I knew I should head home, but could not tear myself away! I must have been there for 45 minutes or an hour...just eating up this historic moment in every way imaginable. It was bliss! And so worth losing a bit of my voice over. Hallelujah!!!

To the memory of you:

"The last time I had tank tops and flowing skirts on, I was happy to be spending time with you." "There's that place we used to grab dinner when I was falling in love with you." "It felt so great when you'd lean across the table over the food to kiss me sweetly just because you needed to." " I remember when the weather changed last year I was happy and thinking I might be love with you." "The last time I put on this hat and scarf I was happy and still in love with you." My mind is booming with thoughts like these. The pangs of hurt that once were present every single moment now only return each time I do something that reminds me of you. When I pass a corner we kissed on. When I smell the perfume I wore when we were together. When I think of how you were one of the best things that happened to me all throughout last year when other things didn't seem to be working out...and in that instant I am sad again. I am sad because we are no longer together, and I remember how much you meant to me. In that moment I also remember that you didn't ever feel exactly the same for me and that is why we are no longer together. I remember denying that what I felt was love, even though I knew that was what it was, because I knew you didn't feel that for me. I don't want those moments anymore. I am sick of feeling sad about you. I know we shouldn't be together. I don't want to be with you again. I haven't wanted to be with you since just after you broke up with me. You ended it because we both knew I couldn't even though I knew things weren't right. Will these memories I have of you ever be good or happy? We were very happy quite often. When will these memories stop hurting so bad? I want to be in love again, but not with you...so stop haunting my heart! I want to be in love again, but this time with someone who loves me. I won't stand for anything less ever again and it feels so far off I can hardly take it sometimes. But I do, because I have to. I do because I want to. I do because I know that it is possible, no matter how long it takes to find it. So I will continue to wait. But this is my message to the memory of you and I. Get out of my head and get out of my heart. I don't want to walk these streets thinking about what we almost had. It was never enough then and it's way too much now. Each time that I think of it I just wonder how I let myself feel so much and continue to hurt so much for someone who couldn't or wouldn't do the same for me.