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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Fitness, Made Simple...

it's made for real people.



WHY can't I NOT sing along with this WEIRDASS commercial with the skeletal and leathery 109 year old man and his weird cult followers who have lost weight with his tapes? These commercials have freaked me out from the first time I saw one, but now I actually sing along (as I do with a lot of things), and sometimes continue singing long after it is done....help me stop!!!



If you aren't in NYC, you probably have no clue what I am talking about.

If you are, you still may not. Unfortunately I still do.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Ah sweet mystery of life...

So I am walking home very briskly in the entirely too brisk wintery winds this evening when I find myself walking behind a man who I couldn't seem to walk quickly enough to get around without cutting him off in a strange manor. So I am quickly walking behind him, trying to get out of the cold a.s.a.p. Gaining an uncomfortable distance just behind this man, I worried he might think I was some sort of threat to him, but he never turned around or seemed to notice. All of a sudden I hear the sounds of buttocks clapping against one another and I realize this man is farting...farting in my face. Farting in my face in the cold. The blistering winds blew up into my nostrils and I quickly breathed out so as not to allow the uninvited fumes. I stepped back, my jaw dropped and I turned my head to avoid further inhallation. Who is this man that just farted in my face and why did he care not to notice who was around him? I slowed my pace and watched as he slowed and pulled out his keys and turned to go inside my building. This man is my neighbor!??!! I held back, not wanting any awkward "Yes, I am immediately behind you as I was seconds ago when you farted in my face." moments. I shivered around the corner, hoping he'd quit looking at the mail and just go in so that I might. His physique looked eerily like that of my landlords and I giggled in shock at how things turned out. I ended up giving him a few seconds then rounded the corner, had our awkward hellos (which are always that way, even sans gas), and went inside. WHY did this happen? Seriously. It is so absurd and would be absurd enough had it been a complete stranger, why'd it have to be my landlord? What purpose does this serve in my world other than to crack me up and remind me to not take life too seriously? I spend nearly every second of my world trying to figure everything out and analyzing things into the ground until I want to smack myself...and then think about all the repercussions....and never get around to smacking myself! So if you too have this problem, may someone you barely know let a big one out in front of you on your way home tonight.