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Tuesday, July 1, 2008

The Bohemian Steel Gardens

So I live at the Astoria Blvd stop on the N/W in Queens. This means that you give a lot of directions...to the bus to LaGuardia, and to the Beer Garden. Non-residents of Astoria only venture to this stop in Queens to get the hell out of here or to get down with some beer. It's something I have gotten used to, and much like that warm-fuzzy feeling of being recognized as a "New Yorker" by a tourist asking for directions,it makes me feel good to help whenever I can. The other night as I made a late-night treck to the corner store for something sweet, I found a girl, a little hooched up, frantically arguing with someone on her cell phone. "

Drunk Hooched-out Girl: "Umm...excuse me, do you know where the Bohemian Steel Gardens are? (extremely confused look on her face)

Me: "Oh...yes...you mean the Bohemian BEER Garden." (holding back hysterical laughing)

Drunk Hooched-out Girl: "Umm...yeah, the Bohemian Steel Garden...is that around here?"

Me: "Yes, I can show you where it is, follow me...but it's called The BEER Garden. It's just down this side of the street past the intersection, be careful these 8 lanes of traffic are kind of dangerous to cross, once you get past them and get on the next corner or so, ask someone "Where is the BEER Garden" and someone will point you right at it. Now just careful at this intersec--

Drunk Hooched-out Girl: ----I can't believe it, you know, I asked TWO cab drivers where the Bohemian Steel Gardens were and neither of them had any idea what I was talking about!"

Me: "Well, that's probably because it's called the BEER Garden, not the STEEL Garden."

Drunk Hooched-out Girl: "It's called the BEER Garden?"

Me: "yes, yes it is."

Drunk Hooched-out Girl: slightly giggling and looking back at me while walking out into 8 lanes of traffic as their light turns green "Oh...thanks!"

I sort of hope she made it there.