Oh where oh where have my crack-tacos gone? Astoria Taco Truck where are YOU?

I must begin with my deepest apologies for my last post being of the boring insights and disgusting image of Mortadella. I have been mortified that I left you all with that gem as my last post in entirely too long. I know full well there aren't that many of you who even swing past here all that often and those of you who do ought to be rewarded with something other than the world's most hideous looking luncheon meat.

Now...onto more pressing matters.

Those of you who know me know of my infatuation with the Taco Truck here in Astoria, NY. You may recall it from a past voicemail, Facebook status or any number of endless ramblings stating my suspicion of their use of actual crack amidst their delectably unique and fresh ingredients which keep addicts like me running back for more. If you ever heard tell of my new found adoration of limes and radishes, these are the people responsible.

The Taco Truck, otherwise known as "El Rey del Taco" and always parked in front of the Rite-Aid at 30th Avenue and 31st Street (except on Mondays) has recently gone missing, and I am not the only one who cares. I recently read a worried friend's status this past week, as he lives right near it and hadn't noticed it there for about a week. I had my regular two $2 chicken tacos (otherwise known as heaven) about 3-4 weeks ago but hadn't been over there since. I was worried about this when another friend casually mentioned her plans for the taco cart that evening on her way home, and had to warn her that her plans may be thwarted due to it's absence.

On my way to a party late Friday night near their corner, I approached the silhouette of a trunk nearly the same size and shape of the Taco Truck. As I got closer, however, I noticed it was slightly smaller and was covered with some graffiti-type artwork that was drab and frightening. A man loading boxes into this truck saw me slow down as I noticed this menacing impostor and thought he'd try flirting with me (since I was all dolled up and walking alone at 1am). All I could do was look at him sullenly and say "you're not my Taco Truck....where's my Taco Truck?" and sulk away.

Well, I am not sure what the explanation is for the disappearance of one of my most reliably delicious and insanely cheap-ass dinners/snacks, but I am ecstatic I am not the only one who is concerned and people are already trying to get to the bottom of this.

I also had no idea that the people who owned it recently opened an actual restaurant not too far away that sounds pretty delicious as well....though, I'm still gonna need you to bring me back my cart, mmkay?

The Bohemian Steel Gardens

So I live at the Astoria Blvd stop on the N/W in Queens. This means that you give a lot of directions...to the bus to LaGuardia, and to the Beer Garden. Non-residents of Astoria only venture to this stop in Queens to get the hell out of here or to get down with some beer. It's something I have gotten used to, and much like that warm-fuzzy feeling of being recognized as a "New Yorker" by a tourist asking for directions,it makes me feel good to help whenever I can. The other night as I made a late-night treck to the corner store for something sweet, I found a girl, a little hooched up, frantically arguing with someone on her cell phone. "

Drunk Hooched-out Girl: "Umm...excuse me, do you know where the Bohemian Steel Gardens are? (extremely confused look on her face)

Me: "Oh...yes...you mean the Bohemian BEER Garden." (holding back hysterical laughing)

Drunk Hooched-out Girl: "Umm...yeah, the Bohemian Steel Garden...is that around here?"

Me: "Yes, I can show you where it is, follow me...but it's called The BEER Garden. It's just down this side of the street past the intersection, be careful these 8 lanes of traffic are kind of dangerous to cross, once you get past them and get on the next corner or so, ask someone "Where is the BEER Garden" and someone will point you right at it. Now just careful at this intersec--

Drunk Hooched-out Girl: ----I can't believe it, you know, I asked TWO cab drivers where the Bohemian Steel Gardens were and neither of them had any idea what I was talking about!"

Me: "Well, that's probably because it's called the BEER Garden, not the STEEL Garden."

Drunk Hooched-out Girl: "It's called the BEER Garden?"

Me: "yes, yes it is."

Drunk Hooched-out Girl: slightly giggling and looking back at me while walking out into 8 lanes of traffic as their light turns green "Oh...thanks!"

I sort of hope she made it there.