French Fries and Copious Amounts of Bird Poop

I remember the first time I visited New York City. I remember the shows I saw, the stars I got my picture with at the stage doors, the grimy streets, and my brother getting swindled in Times Square by some sketchy dudes playing cards on cardboard boxes. I remember the energy I felt in the air and I knew that I would move here one day. Just before all that, I recall my very first step onto a NYC sidewalk just left of the crazies outside of Port Authority. A pigeon shit on my head. Welcome to New York. I knew this was the town for me! That day and many times since, I have been told that a bird pooping on your head is a sign of good luck. While there is no doubt that I am enjoying my time here in the big city...it's been nearly 8 years now and I am pretty sure I am still waiting for that good luck to prove itself.

Last night I had an odd dream. We (castmates, classmates of some sort, and just friends in general) were all staying in the woods near a beach. I'm not sure what we were doing there. En route one afternoon from wherever we went everyday back to our cabins in the woods, we were all crossing the beach when french fries started falling all around us. I don't know where they were coming from, but the sinking feeling in the pit of our stomachs told us that if:

beach + fries = seagulls and birdshit

then:

beach + copious amounts of fries = well...you get the picture


So we started to run just as hoards of seagulls came swooping in eating the french fries that just kept falling. This was obviously followed by large amounts of poop on our heads. We had just barely reached the woods we were living in when the 'storm' got real bad. I just remember all of us drenched in seagull poop and wondering who was going to get to use the shower first.

Now, if birds pooping on your head = good luck

What do dreams about massive amounts of bird feces pouring down your face and the faces of those around you equal?

How about copious amounts of random french fries?

Happy Garden

Well, it only took me about 5 years living in Astoria (7 living in NYC total) to find some decent chinese food. There is a cheapo chinese joint for almost every Starbucks here in the city and all it's boroughs, but the quality generally leaves something to be desired. That was, until I happened on "Happy Garden". I forget just how I happened on them exactly. I think I just was searching online for a new place to go since my last "this can sort of pass as food" chinese place just wasn't cutting it anymore. It is frightening if you ever leave NYC and order chinese food, because the chicken actually looks like chicken, and not some other questionable game. It can be disturbing, and yet...I definitely still eat it. Well...Happy Garden truly is an entire garden full of happy. Happy chicken, moist on the outside, crispy and General Tsao-y on the outside (only if you order General Tsao's). They have eggrolls with fresh ingredients inside a tender, flakey shell and just the right am0unt of egg roll greasiness to really hit the spot. In the first week of discovering this place (on yelp.com), my roommates must have ordered from here at least 3 times. I found myself yearning for a night to be home so I could order in again too. Very quickly the lady on the phone recognized me, but it wasn't just because I was ordering from them a lot. It turns out that we are one of the only customers to request fortune cookies. She finds this absolutely absurd and hysterical, like I am requesting that the delivery boy tapes his eyes back so they look even more chinese or something. I have never been more paranoid about asking for fortune cookies! It is strangely common these days, at least here in NYC, for them not to automatically give you fortune cookies, and I find that highly upsetting...so I request them. This, for reasons I may never fully comprehendm is high comedy.